The Custom of Marriage
by Tsumi-Amethyst
Summary: Fox McCloud is an accredited wedding officiator. Marrying in their own world isn't possible, but a wedding in the Super Smash Brother universe would be safe (relatively). Sort-of sequel to my other SSB fic Customs. Solid Snake/Otacon, implied Link/Zelda.


Author's Note: I've had this as an idea in my head for a loooooooong time, but only began to write it after Ultimate got announced, and completed it after actually playing through some of Ultimate. I wanted to make this a balance between being cute and lovey-dovey, and hopefully I achieved that. This fic does reference my other Smash Brothers fic _Customs_ , but you don't need to read that to understand what's going on here (although a read-through and review is always appreciated!). Anyway, enjoy the cute slash!

"Marriage? Huh…" the soldier paused, puffing on his cigarette languidly as he considered the suggestion. "Not really possible," he said finally, sighing.

Another long day of fighting meant another evening unwinding. Snake exhaled his smoke upwards, watching the smoke curl away until vanishing completely. Toon Link sat beside him, a strange fixture by his side of late, and the older, somewhat wiser Link was nearby. Fox was on his periphery, involved in some increasingly unfriendly banter with Falco.

"Why not?" Link asked, breaking his thoughts. His head was resting on his hands, staring at nothing at all.

"Because he's a FU-GI-TIVE!" Toon Link said, happily, pronouncing each syllable of the word separately. His chest puffed with pride at remembering the word the gruff solider had grumbled at him a few days prior.

Link raised an eyebrow. "Really. And what does that mean?"

"No idea!" Toon Link replied, just as happily, kicking his legs out from under him as he sat on his chair.

Fox barked out a laugh in response. The kid really wasn't as stupid as he pretended to be – likely he knew just as well as they all did, but preferred to play dumb to cause mischief later on. He liked him for it – he reminded him of himself in his younger days.

"So, if you married your partner…"

"… It'd be too easy for them to find us," Snake finished Fox's sentence for him, shrugging one shoulder. "I'm supposed to be dead, anyway. I mean, we could always get married under an alias, but then what's the point? It won't really be us."

"That's a problem," Link admitted, eyes flicking to the object of his own affections for a moment, before returning his focus to the clone before him.

"Yeah, yeah, but my question wasn't 'is it possible' – do you _want_ to get married?" Toon Link asked his question again, his wide eyes gazing up at the tall soldier with interest. He liked talking to the older, gruffer man. Although miles apart from the father figure he'd come to know and love and sail with in his own world, he saw something of a caring nature inside the soldier, and so stuck by him… much to the older man's annoyance.

Snake's life was made up of strange pairings, it seemed. Him and Otacon didn't exactly make for conventional partners, and now him and Toon Link. It hadn't been him to initiate the first, second, or even the third conversation – but there was something about Toon Link's curiosity that was endearing. The kid had managed to worm his way inside his heart, and had just about managed to do so with everyone onboard the Halberd. Even more of a pressing issue for Snake was the pity he felt for the boy – he was just shy of hitting puberty, but he'd still taken up arms and fought. Although not entirely synonymous with his own experiences, the occasions when their experiences did coincide he sympathised with him, although he would likely never express it out loud.

"Yeah, I do," Snake replied, immediately, and his expression softened for a moment before glaring at his depleted cigarette, stubbing it out against the wall of the ship.

"Me too! One day I want to get married… I think," Toon Link said to no one in particular. "It'd be nice to show that person that they don't have to be the brave one, I can do that, I can protect them and make sure everything is okay."

There it was. Despite his penchant for causing mischief – the Zelda/Link kissing incident sprung to mind, Snake remembered with a grin – the boy was wise beyond his years, and the youthful, adorable face obscured the thoughtful, sometimes troubled boy within. He may have been the holder of the Triforce of Courage, but he certainly wasn't stupid.

Fox hummed in agreement, a distant expression on his face.

"Y'know… it's a real shame your partner ain't here, Snake. Fun fact, I'm actually an accredited wedding officiator."

Falco's head whipped around so fast his neck cracked. "You didn't tell me that!" he said with a groan, clutching his neck.

"You never asked," Fox replied. He saw that he had more than one curious pair of eyes on him, so he shifted to see them all better.

"Being an Arwing pilot... it's not without its risks, y'know?" he began slowly, thinking of how best to phrase it. Although really, _really_ not a child, he still liked to treat Toon Link as one, as best he could. The kid deserved to experience some kind of childhood, because he certainly hadn't enjoyed much of one before learning how to swing a sword about. "So... dangerous missions got people thinking. About their lives, about what they'd done or hadn't done, what they should've done…

"For some, they knew they were going on a suicide mission. They knew they wouldn't be coming back alive. So it was some comfort for them that they could get married, right before the mission, so that they didn't feel so..."

"Alone," Snake said abruptly. Fox nodded.

"Yeah. Brought a lot of comfort to people. I rarely practice these days though, I think the kind of ceremony that I used to do was too..." Fox gesticulated, as if trying to grasp the words he wanted with his hands, "... modern," he finished, lamely.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, everyone knows Cornerians like their traditions, but teammates should know everything about their leader!" Falco retorted whilst rubbing his neck, merely for the sake of having the last word. Fox ignored him. Snake was eyeing him as if really seeing him for the first time, evaluating the pilot as an equal, as a friend.

"Do you think you could do it?" he asked. Toon Link glanced between the two, curious about the outcome of the conversation.

Fox grinned, settling back in his chair as if it was the easiest thing in the world. "Do you think you can get him here?"

Getting Otacon to figure out a way to find them was no problem. Getting Otacon to find a way to get there was also, surprisingly, unproblematic. Getting Otacon to avoid staring at the world-famous Pikachu upon arrival was not so easy.

"T-that's-"

"Come on," Snake grunted, all but carrying the man away, ignoring his protests and flailing. They'd been apart for weeks, and damnit, he was horny. Link and Zelda passed them in the corridor, flattening themselves against the wall so that they could pass. Snake grunted in greeting and Link stared, the skinny nerd slung over the soldier's shoulder not at all what he'd expected. Him and the princess exchanged a look and a chuckle before moving on, arms interlinked, in the complete opposite of Snake's bedroom.

Snake had asked Hal privately to marry him, and the engineer had delightedly agreed. Not wanting to waste another moment, they decided to marry on the following day, which raised the eyebrows of some, but the Smashers knew that they could organise an amazing wedding if they tried. Zelda and Peach set about embroidering a beautiful banner that would bear the couple's likenesses and hung it over an awning that Link and Mario had set about constructing at the command of their Princesses. Ness, Lucas, Nana and Popo cut tiny stars and shapes out of shiny, glittery paper to act as confetti. Samus went about gathering as many chairs as she could find to arrange in neat rows on the Halberd's deck, whilst Pit scratched his head, figuring out a seating plan that would reduce the likelihood of fights breaking out mid-ceremony. Fox gave a pep-talk to the couple about the gravity of marriage, to which Hal and David politely nodded along – they had lived with each other for so long and already overcome so much that marriage seemed like just another exciting challenge for them.

"So, you guys gonna change your names? Or double-barrel them?" Fox asked once he was done, relaxing with a cup of cocoa. Snake drank something dubious and alcoholic from a private hip flask, whilst Hal nursed a coffee.

"I think Emmerich-Sears has a nice ring to it," Otacon said, and Snake grinned into his hip-flask. It was the first and only time that name had brought him joy.

Wing it – _idiom_ – to improvise; to do something with a lack of preparation or practice.

There are certain things in life that one should not wing. Weddings are one of those things. And yet, here they were, so eager to marry as themselves in a legal, binding way, that they were almost certainly winging it. Hal smiled nervously at David from behind his glasses, walking down the aisle with Pikachu by his side. David stood at the front of the Halberd's deck, which had been hastily decorated to accommodate chairs and food for the wedding guests. Toon Link stood by his side, clutching the rings tightly in a closed fist, wearing his nicest tunic, a huge grin on his face. All the fighters had made some effort to tidy themselves up for the occasion, even if it was only by taking a much-needed bath (Wario), or by changing to less bulky dress (Samus).

Fox stood proudly and patiently, paws behind his back as Hal slowly walked up the aisle and met with Snake. David took Hal by the hand and whispered something in the other man's ear, which made him laugh. Fox tried not to overhear, although he was almost certain he'd heard the word 'beautiful'. Both men turned and gave him a small nod, and the ceremony began.

"Ladies, Gentlemen, our Royal Highnesses and our other esteemed guests, we are gathered here today to witness the union between David Sears and Hal Emmerich." Fox paused to gaze across at the audience, deciding on a short speech. Although the guests had been meticulously seated by a ruffled Pit to avoid any unnecessary violence, he didn't want to risk any brawls that would mar what he wanted to be a perfect day for the happy couple.

"A wedding is a party for friends and family to enjoy, and a chance for them to bear witness to the love of two people. But marriage is different - marriage is between two people only, and ought to be a lifelong commitment. If anyone here knows of any reason why these two men should not be married, speak now, or forever hold your peace." Fox paused, knowing no one would object. Snake shot a warning glare at the wedding guests as a precaution, but his heart wasn't really in it – he was truly, genuinely happy, something he would have never thought possible before he met Otacon. He squeezed Hal's hand automatically.

Fox continued. "... Now that _that_ formality is out of the way with, we shall listen to the vows that each man has prepared, after which the rings will be exchanged. Toon Link, if you would, please," the boy looked up, and unclenched his fist. He offered the rings to the two men, who accepted them gladly. He then used his clammy hand to pet Pikachu's head, who was watching the goings-on with a keen expression.

Otacon cleared his throat, his heart beating wildly in his chest. Snake looked as calm and collected as usual, as if this was just another ordinary day, but Hal knew better – he could see the tiny lines of a smile on the soldier's face, and he could feel the happiness radiating off the other man. These tiny cues emboldened him to speak first.

"From the first moment I met you, I knew you were someone special," Hal said, clearing his throat as he began so quietly everyone leaned forward to hear better. He continued, steeling himself – he hated public speaking. "I had no idea our lives would carry on like this, but from the get-go you protected me. You saved me. You made me feel like I was someone. And I'll always be your mission support, your tech support, your anything support. And I love you, and I can't really believe that this is happening-" Hal paused, pushing his glasses back onto his face, "-but I'm so happy that it is, so, yeah. That's all I have to say," he finished, swallowing hard. He had found it immensely difficult to put into words exactly how he felt, so that would have to do.

David smiled at him widely, pleased. He hadn't sat down and planned meticulously exactly what he wanted to say, so held the silence for a moment or two as he felt the words come to him. He heard more than saw a couple of the attendees crying at Otacon's speech, Peach dabbing at her eyes with a white handkerchief. He took a deep breath and said the first words that came to mind:

"I like the way you can't peel oranges properly," he blurted out, "and you need to get me to do it for you." At least one or two people chuckled – even Fox's lips twitched in amusement. It didn't matter if it didn't make sense to anyone else, though, this was deeply personal, betraying months of being in close quarters with one another, of sharing the minutiae of daily life many times over before reaching this moment – the real face of love.

Otacon blinked, slowly, as if suppressing his own laughter, and seemed almost annoyed, before David continued, squeezing the other man's hands between his own.

"I like the way you use your hands when you talk to explain stuff and sometimes you knock stuff over without realising. I like how you can't tell me the last time you ate, but you can tell me how many coffees you've drank."

Then, Snake paused, searching for the right words to express his feelings for this man, to sum up everything they were, everything he wanted them to be. He was aware that his words seemed, perhaps, unusual or ill-suited as wedding vows, but it was the most heartfelt stuff he'd ever said.

"But there's some things I'm not so good at, either. I like how you help me to make coffee, because I have no idea how. I like how you always make toast for us in the morning, because all I know how to make is warm bread." Another chuckle. "It's true!" Snake insisted, earning another hearty laugh from their guests. He allowed himself a small smile before continuing, rubbing Hal's hands with his thumbs.

"The point is… we're pretty useless without each other. We suck when we're apart. So… I guess, for better or worse, we're stuck with each other."

For someone who didn't like crying, Hal cried often. But he didn't care. His heart swelled at the meaning behind David's words, and he hurriedly wiped away the tear that obscured his vision. In the seats beside them, more and more people were crying – Link produced a tissue from seemingly nowhere for Zelda to use, and even King Dedede was sobbing, clutching a confused Kirby as if his life depended on it.

"Love you too," he said quietly, so that just David and Fox could hear. The soldier grinned, unable to contain himself any longer. Fox waited, patiently, until David nodded, indicating that he had finished. Hal pushed the ring onto David's finger and stared, transfixed as David slid the identical ring onto his finger. His cheeks glowed. Fox waited another moment, before raising his arms wide, as if to encircle them both.

"By the power vested in me by the Planetary Commission of Corneria, I know pronounce you two, married. You may kiss -" Fox stopped, David having grabbed Otacon and swept him into a deep, passionate kiss. The pilot sighed in exasperation. "- Each other," he finished, and the wedding guests began to clap. King Dedede's wailing was drowned out by the explosion of fireworks behind the kissing couple (courtesy of Olimar). A shooting star zoomed by, and Toon Link gazed at it in unrestrained wonder, making a wish that the two would stay together happily forever.

After a while, Fox led the newlyweds over to a nearby table. A replica of the banner Peach and Zelda had embroided for them decorated the table, and official documents were produced. Snake and Hal signed their names, and then the soldier handed Toon Link his pen.

"You know how to write your name, kid?" he asked. Toon Link tilted his head from side-to-side, remembering his lessons at the seaside, tracing the characters of his name in the sand with a stick. He took the pen and signed his name, in all its wobbly glory. Still, the boy looked at it as proudly as if it was his best yet, so Snake just nodded and glanced over to see how Hal was getting on. His _husband_ (he realised with a grin) was holding the pen uncertainly, Pikachu unable to hold it with his hands.

"Well, how's this gonna work-" Hal asked, before Pikachu hopped onto the table. He deliberately knocked over a pot of ink, stuck his hand in the pooling black liquid, and pressed his paw to the paper. He pulled it away with a self-satisfied "Cha!", and with that his paw-print validated the wedding.

Although the future was uncertain for everyone, and the circumstances that brought them all together mysterious and strange, one thing was certain – even when they returned to their own worlds with their own lives and problems, they would all remember the day that Snake not only smiled, but laughed. The day where Bowser eyed Peach enviously as she gushed about how she'd love to be married one day. Where almost every wide-shot had Link and Zelda chatting together in the background. Where Fox and Falco had a dance-off. Where Snake hoisted Toon Link onto his shoulders and made the kid laugh and laugh and laugh. Where David and Hal were photographed unawares from behind, the scientist's head resting on the soldier's shoulder, gazing at the view from the Halberd and away from the party, as if ready to step into the future together.


End file.
